I am being putting through one of those bi-annual days when you have to actually restrain yourself from smashing in your computer. And it is all thanks to Microsoft.
It started off badly earlier in the week from I tried to get a PGP key so I could send and receive secure emails. Because I am using Microsoft’s Outlook, I have to do things Microsoft’s way. But I only admitted defeat once I had tried several other systems (and wasted countless hours), all of which Microsoft’s software stubbornly refused to accept. So I go through Microsoft’s portal to get a PGP certificate, which I get off a third-party that it designates. I do the whole process but it doesn’t work and I am given no explanation as to why not. Until I do a search online and find that since I am not accessing the sites through Microsoft’s own browser, Internet Explorer, it won’t work. So I use Explorer. But that doesn’t work either because I *started off* using Firefox. So I do the process all over again just through Explorer. It appears to work – but then I can’t find the relevant emails. Why? Microsoft’s Outlook software has automatically designated them spam.
This morning the techno-fury raised its head again when I couldn’t get any sound on my computer. In fact, my brand new laptop didn’t even recognise that it had an audio device. Except of course when it made the Windows opening and shutting down noises. After some restarts and careful reviews, I discovered that it was in fact Microsoft’s security updates that were causing the problems. Microsoft’s security updates – updates from the computer whose operating system I am running and whose software is running on top of that – wouldn’t install. Although they also didn’t explain that or suggest what I can do to make them install. But while not installing, they also kill my soundcard and speakers. The only solution was to restart and then manually prevent Microsoft from installing its own updates. These updates will now appear *every single time* I start up my computer and they will *never* install and I now have to say No to them every single day.
That fun aside I then tried to get access to the sites for my new job – for which I had got hold of the PGP keys for – and found that they didn’t work, and I can’t even gain access to sites that I am supposed to be working on.
Email hell
So, I decide I have to balance up the techno-madness by achieving something useful and decide to import all my emails from my old machine onto my new one. And that’s when I entered the next circle of Microsoft hell. I was using Outlook Express, I am now using Outlook (Outlook has a lot of useful features for dealing with workflows). I go to my old machine and choose Export to export my emails. It exports them – but doesn’t tell me where or how. I search and can’t find them. So I do an online search and find this is not exactly a new problem. After alot of digging about I decided to follow what several people have advised – dig into the guts of the machine and grab the files from there.
This I do. You go (within Outlook Express): Tools > Options > Maintenance > Store Folder. Then you head to that (hidden) folder at: C:\Documents and Settings\Kieren\Local Settings\Application Data\Identities\{F873E073….[another 20 characters]… 7D4}. You get there and copy that folder on a portable drive. And you then copy that file onto your new computer. BUT you can’t import direct into Microsoft’s Outlook from there. No, you have to run Microsoft’s Outlook Express on your machine first, get it to look at the Microsoft file and then get Microsoft Outlook to talk to Microsoft Outlook Express.
Except of course I don’t have Outlook Express on my computer. So I go to download it. Except you can’t just download Microsoft’s Outlook Express, no, you have to download it *with* Microsoft’s Internet Explorer. So I do that. Except when I go to install it, I am told I am running a more up-to-date version of Explorer on my machine, and so Microsoft will not allow me to install an older version – the one with Microsoft’s Outlook Express – and hence I can’t get at Outlook Express. Microsoft won’t let me uninstall my Internet Explorer either.
So here I am running software from the same company on two machines placed two inches from one another and there is no way in which I can transfer emails between them. The only solution I can foresee is to actually bypass Microsoft all-together and email my emails to me, out onto the Internet and back in again. And from there, arrange them. Why on earth am I still using software from this company?
Jeremy Malcolm
February 18, 2007 at 10:33 pmI came to the same realisation in 2000 when I installed Debian GNU/Linux as a dual-boot on my Windows 2000 laptop (though nowadays I mainly use Ubuntu and Mac OS X, both of which are more idiot-proof than Debian — Mac OS X, in particular, always “just works”). At first, I thought that I would be booting into Windows most of the time, but soon enough there was only one appliation I needed Windows for (a time billing program), and I used VMware for that. Eventually, I even found a replacement for that so that I didn’t have to use Windows at all. The other day, for work, I had to do some Windows work for someone else, transferring their Windows 2000 server to a new Windows 2003 machine, and my experience was as hellish as the one you describe above — everything came flooding back to me. So it confounds me how Microsoft has managed to maintain its dominance when there is no longer — particularly in this age ov virtualisation — any compelling reason for people to run its software.
keithpeter
February 19, 2007 at 8:52 pmMac OS X on the laptop, Xubuntu on the desktop. I’ll stop being smug before I drop into dependency hell or have the box killed by the next kernel ‘upgrade’ 🙂
Max
February 20, 2007 at 2:48 pmBlimey Kieren, all that grief and you haven’t even got Vista yet ….
Dour Scot
February 20, 2007 at 3:12 pmre your MS update install not working, it sounds as if you might have bad sectors on your HDD. I’d be wary of your drive. I had identical problem last year and it preceded a major failure.
re Express, there are some tools that make life easier. See my article (bottom of) in that esteemed journal of modern literature, Techworld.
http://www.techworld.com/security/features/index.cfm?FeatureID=2974
Chris
February 25, 2007 at 3:25 amWhy are you Still USING Microsoft’s Software Afterall, Should’t you suppose to be Creating your own thing if you HATE microsoft Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!!!!!
Kieren
February 25, 2007 at 5:57 amI think I’ll file that one under “twat”.
Kieren
kaz
February 28, 2007 at 10:39 pmi hate microsoft they wont even let me on there site to update but when they do let me they change registry keys to screw up even more stuff on my pc …..
from a very bald female in uk
KierenG
March 1, 2007 at 10:09 amSounds like a nightmare. For email you might consider Mozilla Thunderbird as an alternative. It’s free & can set rules to filter your mail just like outlook. It’s lacks a calendar though but it’s multi-platform so will run on Windows / Linux / Apple Mac. Backing up & transfering mail & settings is easy (just copy the mbox folder). PGP is an easy install for it too.
I currently use Ubuntu Linux which is great but probably not quite ready for the mainstream. If I had the spare cash I think I’d buy another Apple. os X is great & you don’t get treated like a criminal with checks etc every time you need an update & no annoying speech bubbles.
Ian Smith
March 12, 2007 at 11:06 amFew of the thousands of such tales heard and seen of ongoing woes with M$ ‘operating systems’ and applications provide, as their final utterance, the seeds of the cessation of such suffering!
So congrats, Kieren. You’re clearly savvy enough to get up to speed over a few short months of reading and doing, to setup a crackerjack desktop or laptop free of The Beast. Linux, FreeBSD and OS X are the lowhanging fruit; there’s plenty of choice once you decide to kick The Habit.
No need to go Cold Turkey .. go on, treat yourself to a new laptop and dual (or triple) boot it.
Or install such on an older laptop that nowadays seems ‘too slow’ to run ‘doze at a useful pace, and enjoy the surprise ..